Just Like Vanilla Ice Cream and Hot Pepper Jelly

Today was the start of the Paoli farmer's market adventure!  After getting scolded for being in the wrong place by the man who OWNS Paoli (in all fairness it's like 1 block long, but still), we got all set up for fabulousness.  It was a tad slow, but I got caught up with Deb E who served as my jam sidekick for the day, and I don't get tired of saying it, I definitely won the cutest table contest.

For anyone who has never been to Paoli, the town is unincorporated and literally 1 block long, BUT that block is full of cute little tchotchke shops, art galleries, a DELISH cheese shop, and of course, my new business best friend, the Paoli Bread and Brat Haus!  Deb and I had super yummy homemade brats brought right out to us, which of course, is just about when we got busy.  In fact, we got busy just after I spilled pesto from my brat all over my boob, and my shirt had this awesome oily stain.  Luckily, the stain didn't seem to deter, and I sold me several jars of hot peppa jelly!  WHICH, by the way, is super yummy with...vanilla ice cream.  Weird, yes.  Yummy, YES!  Just sayin'.

I'll take more pics next weekend, but this area could not be more quaint and idyllic.  In fact, looking at the pics, it's like its own small town utopia.  Even though it's not directly in Madison, I think it's totally worth the mini-trip.  If not for my jam, for homemade brats, fresh picked fruit, and awesome cheese (the horseradish chive havarti is my FAVE)!

These were just pretty!

That's right, it's a pony.  A PONY!  Could it be any cuter there?  And I'm pretty sure kids can ride him.

Here's what I'm sayin':  some Saturday shopping, a fun art purchase, a loaf of artisan bread, a jar of homemade jam, a wedge of fresh cheese, a basket from home with some wine, and a little picnic by the creek.  I'm not sure it gets more quaint, yet fabulous than that.

Products and Friends

Oh hey y'all,

I have some future posts in mind (I made cardamom plum jam today, and strawberry-basil jam yesterday), BUT for now I'm just gonna make sure that I have a list of my products, and my new Farmer's Market Friends listed on the blog.

Some Kolaches from Paolo Bread and Brat Haus.  Um, yum.

First, let me introduce my new Farmer's Market friends!  First, there is Miss Jamie, who is one of the co-founders of the Paoli Bread and Brat Haus.  Not only did she make this insanely delicious bread with a jar of my relish, she thinks she might be able to make a cheese/bread/hot pepper jelly concoction.  She might just be my idol.

Paoli site:  http://breadandbrathaus.com/   (Please note that this Saturday is apparently the naked bike ride?  Did a girl pick the right day to join a market or what??)  I suggest visitors...

Also, Jamie even made me a member of the restaurant food family!:  http://breadandbrathaus.com/?page_id=15

Secondly, there are all sorts of other amazing vendors at the market:  Birch House Farms (they technically win the "Cutest Table Contest," but only for now...), Cookies with Heart, and Elderberry Farm (this adorable newbie farmer named Eric who just might have the best salad spring mix and swiss chard this girl has EVER had). Oh!  And cheese curds.  There are delicious fresh cheese curds.  And many, many others.

And in case you're not one of my loyal friends who dutifully reads my blog postings, here is a list of my goods!

Products currently available:

Hot Peppa Jelly!                             Spicy Pickles                       Spicy Carrot Pickles (delish!)
Strawberry-Lemon Jam                  Relish
Strawberry-Rhubarb Jam               Blackberry Jam
Cranberry Mustard                         Strawberry-Basil Jam
Black Bean and Corn Salsa            Cardamom-Plum Jam

Future products:

Apricot Jam
Mango-Pineapple Relish
Peach-Habanero Hot Sauce
Orange Rhubarb Jam
Strawberry-Poppyseed Jam



Y'all can always email me at whambam.jams@gmail.com if you can't make it to the market, and want to place an order!

(Ok, this picture has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything.  However, I just really liked this carrot.  When I was making the spicy carrot pickles last week (during the tornado, oops), I decided that if there were ever a carrot to turn into a wand, this would be it.  I could totally Petrificus Totalus someone with this wand a la Hermione Granger.)

First Farmer's Market!

Trying to coerce people into trying my shiz.  

Thursday was the first market, and I am now an official Jaminatrix!  I could tell you that I was cool and breezy and not worried, but that would be a big, FAT lie.  I had a couple, ok SEVERAL, minor freak-outs on Wednesday.  Do I have enough stuff?  Do I have too much?  Will I even make back the booth fee ($10)?  Why don’t I have a husband to help me, or at the very least comfort me?  Why don’t I have any parents to alleviate my fears?  Why are there no grown-ups to ask!?  Yeah…I went there.  It was ever so slightly fatalistic, and entirely melodramatic, but pretty funny now that I’m not in the moment.  

Everything I had planned to sell (and much much more than I could ever have sold in one day) was made and ready to go by Tuesday.  I spent the day Wednesday tending to details like tent weights, sunscreen, and labels.  My bro and his wife did an AMAZING job making label templates that I could just fill in and print here at home—convenient and fabulously creative—and everybody at the market RAVED about them!  In addition to all the other details (you would not believe the rules and restrictions that apply, and the statements that must appear on the labels), I was trying to win the “market’s cutest table contest” that I had going on in my head.  I thank my cousin Angie for that, who started the whole thing when we went to a winery, and she busted out her picnic basket set complete with tablecloth and all the accoutrements one could need for a day of wine and cheese.   My table was pretty gorge, but it’s hard to make it beautiful when all you have are jars, and I think the booth with all the vases of wildflowers just might have edged me out.  I’m already plotting improvements for next week; think window displays a la the 1987 classic, Mannequin.  

See...pretty cute, mostly due to the table cloth, but one can only do so much with jars.  Next week, perhaps I'll add some different layers/heights, maybe a vase with some fresh fruit?  

So…a solid 22 jars sold, 2 jars exchanged for some wildflowers, a piece of red velvet cake, and a plan to pair a bratwurst sample with my relish for next week, and a possible 2 more markets I can join.  Not too shabby for my first day! 

A special thank you to everyone who stopped by to visit me, and to Lauren and Rachel for all their help!  No joke, there wouldn't have been samples without Rachel bringing the covers, and without Lauren, who constantly made sure the samples were "stocked."  

I Refuse To Say Anything Corny

What is it!!??

Artistic shot through
the bowl

I’m sure most cooking blog posts start with something clever or informative about cooking, but I’m gonna start with a question.  As someone who cooks nearly every day, I admit that I should know this, but I don’t.  What the hell are those weird little nubbins that you sometimes find in peppers?  Is it a baby pepper?  Am I performing a pepper abortion?  I mean, I believe in a pepper’s right to choose…but doesn’t this end up being my choice?   Sorry baby peppers.  Anyway, red (baby?) peppers, tomatoes, diced green chiles, jalapenos, cilantro, some cumin, some chipotles, corn, tomato puree, and a secret ingredient, and I’m in business for Black Bean Corn Salsa.  NO, I will not tell you the secret ingredient, but it is what gives this salsa its tang!  

So here’s the deal with this salsa.  I have tried MULTIPLE recipes, but nothing could compare to my favorite store bought salsa:  the amazing, the magnificent, Desert Pepper Salsa.  Their Peach Mango Salsa rocks my world, but their Black Bean Corn Salsa is a-mah-zing (a la Happy Endings if you’ve seen that show, which I recommend you do—it’s HILAR).  

So unlike most of my recipes that I follow, I made this one up.  I dorkishly made a list of the ingredients in the Desert Pepper salsa (in descending order), and did a little kitchen experiment to duplicate.  My bro and his wife were good sports and agreed to test-drive this recipe with their co-workers, and they all gave me some good feedback so I could refine and improve.  With some tweaks to the amounts of tomatoes, onions, and spices, I arrived at my happy cooking place.  

Cooking without a recipe makes me feel so official!  And in the spirit of Nicki Minaj, and mock narcissism, “all you haters mad because I’m so established!”   

Black Bean And Corn Salsa:  I Refuse To Say Anything Corny

Sweet and Spicy: Everything You Want In a Woman!

Confession:  the hot pepper jelly is my favorite, but don’t tell any of my other jams that.  You can put it on crackers, sammiches, or use it as a dipping sauce—it’s so versatile (just like my best gay Toby J)!  As any of my friends and fellow social work students can tell you, I have spent a TON of time perfecting the hot pepper jelly recipe, and forcing half-pint jars into their hands every other week.  I decided I would turn up the challenge and make it a triple threat—triple the recipe, cut down on my cooking time, and increase my profit.  I am one savvy little business-woman, right?  Riiiight.  

Don't you ever wonder who actually
buys those bulk products?

In order to do so I had to bust into the giant 50 lb. bag a suga, and puree 6 red bell peppers, 12 habaneros, and 12 serranos.  I finally got a big-girl food processor so I didn’t have to puree the peppers in 1-cup batches (like I used to do in my single lady food processor—making relish is gonna rock nowwwww).  Anywho, that many hot peppers in one contraption was more than ever so slightly akin to breathing in pepper spray, and I had no less than 3 separate coughing fits, but hey, I suffer for my craft.  

I know I'm a Grinch and this won't
help sales, but doesn't this look like
Christmas threw up in a stock pot?  

Sooo…pureed peppers +18 cups sugar + 4 cups vinegar + 3 packets liquid pectin = 20 jars of hot pepper jelly!  The triple threat worked out fabulously in the end, but not without a tremendous amount of anxiety on my part as the jars took forever to gel.  I was all worried I was gonna be stuck with 20 jars of spicy, sugary vinegar that never turn into jelly.  Then I reminded myself of the profound and immortal words of Destiny's Child...I don't think you're ready for this jelly, I don't think you're ready for this jelly, I don't think you're ready for this...'cause my body's too bootylicious foooor yoooou baaaabe.  Whew, feels good to get that out.  I'm not sure that a jam blog would be complete without it?  I just don't wanna be too bootylicious for my own jelly.  Guess the anxiety was worth it in the end, but it was a looong 3 hours hoping that Destiny's Child was wrong, which I have NEVER thought before.  I don't just heart jam, I heart Beyonce too (random fact about me:  if I could look like any celebrity, it would be Beyonce).  

Hot Pepper Jelly    Sweet and Spicy:  Everything You Want In a Woman!  

Nice and Dark, Just How I LIke My Men...

...wait what?  Who SAID that?  Ok, other than my title, I'm feeling woefully uncreative at the moment.  I promise to turn up the sass for the next post.  The blackberry jam experiment yesterday was a success, and let me tell ya this, not having to dice the fruit in any way was AWESOOOOOME.  At any rate, here are some totally gorge fruit pics.

This looks like a horrible granny smith apple murder scene.  Random jam factoid:  blackberries don't have enough natural pectin to "gel" on their own.  If you add apple slices while cooking, the blackberries use and abuse them for their pectin, and then you can discard the apples or use elsewhere.  Huh.  

I'm glad blackberries were on sale and I decided to try this recipe, if for nothing else than the richness of the colors and the texture of the jam.  Blackberry Jam with Lemon Zest:  Nice and Dark, Just How I like My Men!

Sweet and a Little Tart, Just Like Your Unmarried Sister

Yes, those are my feet--I'm not tall
enough to see into the stock pot
without gettin' on my tippy-toes. 

Even though I used Lauren for her Costco membership, forced her to go Woodman's on a Sunday, and then made her help me carry the jars and vinegar upstairs, she was still a good sport and helped me make my very first batch of strawberry-lemon jam for sale.  She'll hate this pic, but I think it's adorables since she's crackin' up.  Hulling strawberries is funny.   It's extra funny since I made her do all the hard work while I prepared jars and zested lemons. It was nice to have actual conversation and help--usually I'm in the kitchen by myself, pretending that I have my own cooking show, or talking to Gigi.  And cosmos.  It was nice to have lots of cosmos.

It was also extra fabulous to have help with dicing strawberries (which takes FOREVER), and we got a kick out of pretending to be photographers.

Lauren ladled the goods into the jars, and then I did the lid and boiling water work.  I didn't wanna leave that part to a rookie who'd been sippin' on my infamous peach cosmos for the afternoon...



And voila!  Strawberry-Lemon Jam:  Sweet, and a Little Tart, Just Like Your Unmarried Sister